That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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