did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
