I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
