on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
