i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
