in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
