I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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