if you like me you must not know who I am
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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