he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
