I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
