3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
