Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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