Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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