so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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