Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
