I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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