New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
