just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
