Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Screwed.edu
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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