It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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