Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize