For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize