Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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