If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
