I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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