I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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