i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
