Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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