I'm gonna have a badass scar
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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