So drunk its hurt
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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