wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
