hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
