I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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