Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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