You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
