i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize