oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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