can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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