Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Congratulations! We have a period
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