Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
