So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
