Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my poor anus
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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