you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
