That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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