I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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