just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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