Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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