y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
