I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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