i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
