I heard we made out
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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