At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
