Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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