I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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