ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
third nipple confirmed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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